Thursday, July 22, 2010
A Perfect Record Falls
I have always been able to answer the questions without thinking twice. Sometimes I've had fevers, trouble sleeping, nausea, pain - most likely you all have answered 'yes' to these categories at one time or the other.
But the one question I've never answered 'yes' to was: Have you fallen? Until now!
A couple of days ago I stepped out to get the mail. The box is at the end of our two-house street, and as I set foot onto the somewhat damp lawn, gravity in conspiracy with an unknown assailant, struck. My legs shot out in front of me, time turned into a Matrix-like super slow-motion, my arms flailed out to my sides desperate not to be pinned under my girth, my Nike ball cap jumped ship, my glasses went sideways, and I landed on my back with a thud that should have measured high on the Richter Scale.
I was motionless for a few seconds as the blood rushed and pounded in my ears. I was just hoping that it wasn't rushing out of my ears!
I noticed that I could breath. And that I could see the partly-cloudy Ozark's sky and that nothing seemed to hurt too badly. I also noticed that I could hear the blue jay sitting in my cedar tree. Blue jays are territorial and they 'dive bomb' creatures that get in their space. I had visions of looking like a huge worm to this opportunistic blue jay. I've seen the Hitchcock movie. Better move before the pecking started.
I cautiously lifted up my head, I'll admit, to see if the neighbors were laughing at me or if they had a video camera aimed to create the next YouTube viral video. I was alone. Except for the blue jay and the chipmunk that peeked out from behind the low rock wall. I swear that before he scurried away he said 'So sorry for your nasty spill, old chap, but you can't catch me now!'
It was then that I remembered that I had Myeloma, a history of a bunch of fractured ribs, shoulders, vertebrae, sternum, and more. In a split second, did I just undo surgeries, Zometa infusions, and anti-couch- potato rehabilitation?
My toes and fingers wiggled. I could move my neck slowly from side to side. My arms bent reasonably from the elbows and then from the shoulders. Okay so far. I bent my knees and moved my feet closer to my hips. I stretched my back with great care and didn't hear anything crack or pop. Hugging my knees, I sat up and looked over at my neighbor's house again. No $10,000 Home Video Prize for them! I gingerly rose to my feet, no worse for the wear. A quick prayer expressed my gratitude and I promptly forgot about the mail.
So next Wednesday at my weekly maintenance chemo session, I will be asked 'Have you fallen?' And my answer will be....... 'You got a minute?' Or my pride might get the better of me and I'll say 'Nope.'
Be careful out there in Myelomaville!
@ 6:18 PM