Thursday, August 26, 2010

Moonshine and Velcade

(OP- 8/26/10) Ozarky Hills, MO - In order to mitigate the high cost of Multiple Myeloma chemotherapeutic agents in this struggling economy, some of my Ozark native colleagues have stepped up to lend a hand by utilizing their considerably honed creative skills.

Local onkolojist and beverage distributor, Henry 'Doc' Hallow, MD (Moonshine Doctorate)  and his twin brother, Lenny 'Happy' Hallow, have devised a way to distill generic bortezomib using an ages-old moonshine making and animal rendering approach.

Happy is also spearheading a process whereby lenalalomide tablets are stamped out using ingredients native to the local hills. The only drawback so far is that they have an overwhelming perfume d' skunk. It is also reported that it is difficult to keep the fine animal hairs out of the products. Oh, and then there's the side effect that it 'may cause permanent blindness.'   

Billycade and Lennyalomide may not be covered by insurance or prevailing patent laws, but at 3 cents per serving, er.. dose, the price is right!

Calls to Millenium, Celgene, Blue Cross / Blue Shield and the FDA have not been returned.

Reporting from the back hills of Myelomaville, Sean Murray

** Disclaimer / Confession:  Hillbilly is not a derisive term and I use it with deep respect, although within this parody it is utilized for cheap laughs. The folks (mostly of Scotish, Irish and Scotch/Irish ancestry) that I've met living here in the Ozarks for the last 16 years have been hard working, intelligent, honest, open and friendly. No doubt, a lot like you always and me on a good day! 


Dom and Nan said...

LOVED this!!!

Sandy said...

Creative 'juices' at work - terrific!!

Sean Murray said...

Thanks gang! Happy says 'hi'!

Anonymous said...

Wow - It's so great that the twins are so talented! They say the apple doesn't fall far from the tree so their children, or would it be cousins, nieces, grandparents, may even be able to distil a kure! ;D